Image 3Happy Father’s Day dad. I wonder where you are and whether you and my brother still think about legal cases. I know you both are watching over me as I have taken over responsibilities that I never thought would be mine. I am grateful you taught me how to take care of things and both of you always helped me when I needed help. I think a lot of when you were sick dad and the night before your last night I lied to you when I went to the hospital and told you I slept and woke up early at four in the morning to be with you. I really was at the hospital lounge so you thought I slept because I couldn’t sleep knowing you were alone and very sick in the hospital. I am glad you didn’t know you had cancer for the last 6 months of your life and only found out 10 days before you died.

You said you were tired and a little under the weather but you didn’t have to suffer as long by not knowing. I was so glad I came to see you in the hospital and we had some time alone so I could read you the card I made for your surprise birthday party that we couldn’t have. I am glad we all could come together by your bedside and have everyone holding hands. We were full circle with almost all of your children and grandchildren united in our love for you.

Happy Fathers Day to my older brother! I really miss you so much. I was so lucky that you were always there for me whenever I needed you. I know you were very ill but I thank you for helping me get my paperwork done. I also loved getting to work in your legal office and I treasure the days you took me to court with you so I could see all the great work you did. I kept my promise to you and found the most precious thing you asked me to search for. I know the chemo was tough, but I thank you for letting me go with you, as I understood because I did chemo too. I only wish you didn’t have so many metastatic tumors that grew so fast which could barely be contained.

I still am so surprised you died on Father’s Day, since being a fantastic dad was so important to you and I know how much you loved all of your children and grandchildren. You worked so hard to provide for them and we know how difficult it was for you to have the cruel disease of esophageal cancer take over your body and mind. You stayed with us as long as you could and I hope wherever you are, please know how much we love and miss you. We had such a special bond and a great childhood.

I miss your humor and way of uniting everyone for all the important times. It’s hard without you, but please know I have kept every promise that we spoke about and you and dad are always with me and the rest of the family in spirit.

18 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day!

  1. Oh, Susan, what can I say? What poignant words. Thanks for sharing about your dad and brother. I’m sorry for the losses and heartache, but so glad you have the wonderful memories to treasure forever. Hugs.

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    1. Nancy thank you so much for all of your support. I was so touched by your post about your father, as I know you have also been through terrible loss with your mom’s death from breast cancer and wondering what it’s like for your dad especially because you got this awful disease too. I love the way you ask questions at the end because thinking about your questions inspired me to write this. I am so lucky for the memories that I do treasure as I am sure you have treasures of your own. I know the cyber hugs are real. Hugs and xoxoxo – Susan

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  2. I never knew your brother died on Father’s Day. My grandmother died on my birthday and I was on my way to see her in NC. Maybe people hang on that extra time for a reason.

    I know your dad and brother were both so special to you and I wish I had gotten a chance to meet them.

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    1. That’s so strange that your grandmother died on your birthday. You have a point about people hanging on that extra time for a reason. I wish you had met them too. You would have really enjoyed meeting them! I am so glad you know my mom! Hugs! – Susan

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  3. God bless you Susan, for the pain you had to endure through the loss of your brother and father, and the ways you continued to protect them during their time on earth, even though it was clearly hard on you, too.. Such a lovely tribute to both your dad and brother on this Fathers Day.

    I read your posts on advocacy work you are staying up on and doing yourself. But this last post of yours tells more of your personal story and shows your sensitivity and passion not just for everyone, but shows some of what you have been through personally, Keep up the good work to help everyone in a hard place.

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    1. Rachel, Thank you for your kind words about my brother and my father. I hope I am helping others in a hard place right now and I’m grateful for your positive encouragement. I also wanted to tell you I loved your book, “Hopping Roller Coasters” and thank you for your special note inside! xoxoxo – Susan

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  4. Susan,

    What a beautiful, heartfelt, thoughtful tribute to your Dad and David. David and I had a wonderful business relationship for 11 years and I miss him so today.

    Love & Hugs,

    David

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    1. David I know you had such an incredible business relationship with my brother. We miss him for so many reasons. I remember that day you were in court when I ran back to the car for some paperwork. I am glad he asked me to send the letters to the judges and the response back from them was quite touching. I also loved your tribute. Hugs! – Susan

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    1. Annette I am so glad you liked my tribute. I am grateful you have been with me through all of this. I’m so excited your comment came through on the computer. You are getting to be such a pro! Wow! Hugs and xoxoxo – Susan

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  5. Susan,
    This was truly beautiful! Your feelings seeped through! It hasn’t been easy for you, but, you’ve persevered and are now doing such special things! I’m sure that your father and your brother are very proud of you!
    Carole

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    1. Carole what a sweet thing to say. I am so used to holding on to my feelings. Thank you for understanding,reading,commenting and all your support. xoxoxo – Susan

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  6. oh, dear susan,

    what lovely tributes you have written for your beloved dad and very special brother. losing both of them was, I am sure, so very sad and difficult for you, your dear mother and entire family. I hope that writing about the many special moments you were able to share with and remember with pride and happiness has eased your heart – that is a true turning point, isn’t it, even though you miss them so much.

    you are such a compassionate, kind, and understanding person, susan, and I know both those wonderful men are so proud of the way you are constantly helping others, lavishing them with caring and support, and doing so much to advocate for those in need who are fortunate enough to find you.

    much love, XOXO

    Karen, TC

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    1. Karen I am truly touched by your kindness and lovely words about my brother, father, family, and me. You really understand how writing this down really helped me. Yes even though I miss them, I treasure the happy moments. This I know you understand as you are going through so much yourself. Your compassion and empathy means so much to me. Thank you! Hugs and Xoxoxo – Susan

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  7. Susan, Oh my gosh! I just am catching up on my blog reading and was moved to tears by this poignant, beautiful tribute to two very wonderful men. I’m so sorry for your losses. You were a wonderful daughter and sister.

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    1. Beth I just found this! Thank you so much for your special thoughts about my father and brother. I have enjoyed getting to know you and you beautiful daughter via your posts and I know what a special mother you are. I am very lucky that I still have special family members especially my mom who has so much strength. I know you are going through a hard time now with your dad and I know how much we both treasure our families!

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