Happy Father’s Day!

Image 3Happy Father’s Day dad. I wonder where you are and whether you and my brother still think about legal cases. I know you both are watching over me as I have taken over responsibilities that I never thought would be mine. I am grateful you taught me how to take care of things and both of you always helped me when I needed help. I think a lot of when you were sick dad and the night before your last night I lied to you when I went to the hospital and told you I slept and woke up early at four in the morning to be with you. I really was at the hospital lounge so you thought I slept because I couldn’t sleep knowing you were alone and very sick in the hospital. I am glad you didn’t know you had cancer for the last 6 months of your life and only found out 10 days before you died.

You said you were tired and a little under the weather but you didn’t have to suffer as long by not knowing. I was so glad I came to see you in the hospital and we had some time alone so I could read you the card I made for your surprise birthday party that we couldn’t have. I am glad we all could come together by your bedside and have everyone holding hands. We were full circle with almost all of your children and grandchildren united in our love for you.

Happy Fathers Day to my older brother! I really miss you so much. I was so lucky that you were always there for me whenever I needed you. I know you were very ill but I thank you for helping me get my paperwork done. I also loved getting to work in your legal office and I treasure the days you took me to court with you so I could see all the great work you did. I kept my promise to you and found the most precious thing you asked me to search for. I know the chemo was tough, but I thank you for letting me go with you, as I understood because I did chemo too. I only wish you didn’t have so many metastatic tumors that grew so fast which could barely be contained.

I still am so surprised you died on Father’s Day, since being a fantastic dad was so important to you and I know how much you loved all of your children and grandchildren. You worked so hard to provide for them and we know how difficult it was for you to have the cruel disease of esophageal cancer take over your body and mind. You stayed with us as long as you could and I hope wherever you are, please know how much we love and miss you. We had such a special bond and a great childhood.

I miss your humor and way of uniting everyone for all the important times. It’s hard without you, but please know I have kept every promise that we spoke about and you and dad are always with me and the rest of the family in spirit.

Hope from the NBCC Deadline 2020 Advocate Summit and Lobby Day

As I returned home from the NBCC (National Breast Cancer Coalition) Advocates Summit and Lobby Day to end Breast Cancer Deadline 2020, I was really happy I went. I have to admit I had so many reservations going. I labored over my decision. I thought I was going to fly home with “Frustration – Part Two.” There’s been a lot of people angry with the NBCC because of issues about putting MBC (Metastatic Breast Cancer) under the bus literally. My fearless friends have real reasons to be upset. Here is an organization that has educated so many women who have had to hear the words “You or a loved one has breast cancer.” They have an incredible program called Project LEAD which is an intensive six-day course teaching the science and very important advocate issues about breast cancer.

MusaSmI have learned a great deal from Project LEAD, LEADcasts, summits and attending Breast Cancer Symposiums that stemmed from first learning with the NBCC about breast cancer. Great scientists, researchers, doctors and leaders of breast cancer advocacy taught me the grim statistics that now in the US alone 108 women die a day of MBC (metastatic breast cancer). That’s one woman every 14 minutes. There are also men but the stats are less. In 1975 there were 112 deaths a day in the US from MBC. It’s 2013. Four less deaths a day is not much progress when it comes to death rates.

So here was my dilemma. The NBCC who taught us about the death rates has a campaign to end breast cancer in 2020. So what happens to the metastatic patient while they figure out how to get a vaccine to end breast cancer?

There has been a lot of differences of opinion within the breast cancer community and understandably so. If you are only preventing breast cancer and preventing metastatic breast cancer what of the person diagnosed as metastatic. The very people they say they are helping…Are they really helping them?

I went to symposium expecting to come home finished with them. But my mind was open. I saw that Musa Meyer was going to the conference. She is the head of the advanced metastatic breast cancer organization. She is committed to the advanced breast cancer community and through her website http://www.advancedbc.org and the BCMets,org online community Musa focuses daily with BCMETS.org by helping women with MBC and their families understand treatment options and emerging research.abc

There was also an impressive line up of speakers. Dr Dennis Slamon gave a great talk. He is best known for being instrumental in the identification of the Her2/neu oncogene and the resulting treatment of tratusunab (Herceptin) which has been hailed as the first triumph in an emerging wave of targeted therapies. Some other speakers included Dr. Susan Love, Dr. Michael Baum, Dr. Peter Lee, and Dr. Barrett Kramer to name a few. In my next post I will be writing more about what some of these speakers spoke about.susan-love-cancer-20130213-001

Shirley Mertz of the MBCN (Metastatic Breast Cancer Network) was also at the conference. If leading metastatic breast cancer patients and their organizations were getting behind the deadline, and I have always supported the NBCC, I owed it to myself and Advocates for Breast Cancer to attend and make up my mind.

The most moving plenary session I attended was called “Effectively Targeting Metastasis in Breast Cancer.” First Shirley Mertz spoke to us, endorsing Deadline 2020. She talked about the differences between early stage breast cancer patients and MBC. 80-90% of all breast cancer patients start at early stage breast cancer. Early stage can be anything from DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) which is pre-cancer and a little more complicated but for this post I will leave the explanation as that. Early stage cancer can also be cancer that is contained in the breast where someone might only need a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and/or radiation depending on the size of the tumor and whether there is lymph node involvement. Otherwise another early stage breast cancer is when the cancer travels to the lymph nodes and the patient could have a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and/or radiation and/or a mastectomy but the most important thing to understand about early stage is that one is told they have a 70% chance of survival and many do whatever treatments that are recommended or they feel will work and after treatment some prescribed medications depending on their pathology. Some also choose alternative therapies. For most early stage patients, when they “finish primary treatment”  and are told they have NED (No Evidence of Disease) they can have the chance of knowing they may be “cured.” Then they are told they have a 30% chance of a metastatic recurrence that can happen at any time, but at least there is an end point to the treatment. Of course there are many side effects and I am oversimplifying “treatment” as an end point but I am trying to show the differences between early stage breast cancer and MBC. MBC is chronic and so far there is no known “cure”.

IMG_5124Shirley explained about how she goes for chemotherapy infusions and where she goes there are early stage patients getting chemo and when they get their last treatment they have a special bell and everyone celebrates their end point of chemotherapy treatment. When one has metastatic breast cancer there is no end point to treatment so Shirley remembers the joy of knowing there was an end point but unfortunately for the MBC patient this will never happen. There are also people with inflammatory breast cancer which is an unbelievably aggressive form of breast cancer that many do not survive. Again for simplicity I am just trying to show the many differences that exist in breast cancer diagnosis and treatment options.

After Shirley Mertz, Suzanne Faqua PHD continued talking with us about the science involved and critical issues in metastasis research. Suzanne is a professor in the Lester and Sue Smith Breast Center at the Baylor College of Medicine. She specializes in metastatic research especially working with hormone positive MBC.

She explained the way current science recognizes the need to study not only the primary tumor but looking at the similarities and differences of the heterogeneity of a metastatic tumor. As we look at the critical issues in metastatic research our approach is important. For optimal targeted therapy we must identify key pathways (key drivers), block the pathway completely, anticipate escape mechanisms and block them too, and explore combination therapy. She talked about studies related to PIK3CA status in blood, liquid biopsies, circulating tumor cells and how we must do targeted therapies in human trials. Her talk had some of the complicated science involved with tumor dormancy, including the fact that there aren’t current dormancy-cell killing drugs in clinical trials. This needs to change.

Some of her personal perspective of the critical issues in metastasis research includes the need for us to get the pace moving. We have to change the dogma that “The horse is out of the barn” so we can prevent metastasis. There is a lack of clear “drivers” to target. Suzanne also spoke about how important it is to now understand the metastatic tumors and be able to collect tissue samples from biopsies of metastatic tumors and analyze them. Apparently there is a problem within the research community where the researchers want to study the tissue samples from metastatic tumors and how there is difficulty getting theses samples. The woman sitting next to me said she gave her samples and is disappointed that researchers aren’t getting their samples. Another problem is funding. Negative funding will slow and halt progress. That’s why Lobby Day was so important and we also need to keep the program at the DOD (Department of Defense) going so we continue vital research especially when it comes to metastasis.

The NBCC is going to have a special meeting in June with scientists, doctors and metastatic breast cancer patient advocates to study metastatic breast cancer and tumor dormancy. The science is complicated. But someone explained to me that the basics are if the scientists can take the metastatic patients and get their metastatic tumors to go back to sleep and not spread any further, they can go on to live with the disease for many years. The best way I can understand and explain it is that with AIDS they have not found “the cure” but they have found medications that allow people to continue to live with AIDS and they can live for a very long time.

This information is very important to me. I know I have written about the death of my best friend from MBC who survived and thrived through primary chemo with me and lived as long as she could with triple negative MBC. I have so many friends with metastatic breast cancer now, and met some really special new friends at the conference and I have written about how upset I am that they need to have more money dedicated to metastatic research.

One of the difficult things in the breast cancer world is that different organizations have different agendas. Sometimes there are clashes. I am someone who wants everyone to work together. I believe in teamwork. It is the spirit of teamwork that helps me understand the mistakes of the past with breast cancer and pink culture yet try to move forward with my advocacy.

This is what I gained from the people who are committed to deadline 2020. Advocates are working in every way they can to see an end to this disease so that we don’t have to have our sons and daughters hear the words “you or a loved one has breast cancer.”pink_425x320

I understand that some people are moving on from the NBCC and others like me and many of my new friends that I met in DC are supporting the NBCC. For those that don’t want to support them, please know I understand your point of view and I am not going to tell anyone they have to feel the same as I do. This was my experience at the conference. This is what I went away feeling that I am doing what I believe is right for myself and my organization. I am passionate about my advocacy and making a difference with breast cancer and nothing will change that. I hope that one day this horrible disease can be contained and women can go on to live happy productive lives with the most quality of life that they can as result of the scars that come with this disease.

I respect that others see some of what the NBCC is doing with a different lens. When it comes to our passion and intentions, we are all on the same side. What is most important is that we respect each other and work towards ending this disease in every form while we continue to place much emphasis on metastatic research.

Setting a deadline is always a good idea to set goals and try to reach them. Had we never set a goal to get a man on the moon we never would have footage of Neil Armstrong stepping on the moon and saying thDepartment_of_Defense[1]e famous words, “One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”

Lobby Day was also important to get bipartisan agreement and congressional representatives to sign “The Accelerating the End of Breast Cancer Act”, H.R. 1830, and that we continued to get the funding support for the Peer-Reviewed Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program (BCRP).

I also met some amazing new fearless friends many who currently are metastatic and have such interesting stories. As we all know it is our unique stories that move us to understand more about this horrible disease and fuels us to do whatever we can to help one another in this land of cancer.

I am so glad I went to DC and came back with all of this hope as well as meeting great new friends. The Summit was so much at once and my only criticism is that they packed in so much that we didn’t even have a break during meals because there were speeches and meetings during the whole time. Even though it was exhausting, the Summit was really worth it. Hope is a great thing to have in our lives.

My Life will Never Be Normal

I was reading Marie ‘s Weekly Round Up on her blog “Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer” as she quoted  Eileen’s blog,  where she writes, “If there’s anything I’ve learned in my process that will help another, I owe it to myself and others to share it on my blog.” There was an article written about me in the ASCO Post’s Patient’s Corner that I have been hesitant to tell people about because I felt a little exposed. Eileen and Marie helped me realize that I should share this article with everyone. The skills of the interviewer and writer, Jo Cavallo, really impressed me. I did the story with her because I wanted oncologists to benefit from my experience.

Ironically when all of social media was beginning to explode on the internet, I was afraid to use my real name because so many aspects of breast cancer are very personal.  Thanks to a dear friend that I met at a National Breast Cancer Coalition Advocacy Meeting in DC, I started my Twitter account as well as Facebook and my blog, and I ended up putting my name out there. I am grateful to her and many others for finally helping me to get this process started last May.

There are so many other bloggers who continue to inspire, empower and uplift me through their blogs. I am also thrilled by all the friendships I have made through social media. Thank you to all of you who give me so much encouragement with your feedback. Although the story below is about my breast cancer case, there are so many cases and people with experiences “Weaving through Breast Cancerland”. You can go directly to The Asco Post Patient’s Corner, My Life Will Never Be Normal, to read the story or read it below.

 

My Life Will Never Be Normal

I thought I could go through breast cancer treatment, and afterward my life would return to the way it was before. That’s not what happened.

By Susan Zager, as told to Jo Cavallo
March 15, 2013, Volume 4, Issue 5

Despite my concerns, I’m happy to be alive and I try to live life to the fullest. I have become a patient advocate for breast cancer survivors and find great satisfaction in helping others become better educated about their disease and more proactive in their care.

—Susan Zager

After being diagnosed with stage II invasive ductal carcinoma in my right breast in 2004, I did an Internet search to learn more about my treatment options so I could be prepared when I met with my oncologist to discuss my treatment plan. I was especially interested in therapies that would be effective but allow me to salvage my hair. Despite my efforts, however, in addition to a lumpectomy, my oncologist was recommending the standard course of therapy for my type of cancer, including four cycles of a high-dose combination of doxorubicin and cyclophosphamide, followed by four cycles of paclitaxel, plus 35 days of radiation therapy over 7 weeks.

With this regimen, I knew my hair didn’t have a chance. What I didn’t expect to see was all my toenails floating to the top of the water one night while I was taking a bath. Although I didn’t feel any pain, the sight of my toes without nails and my head without hair made me truly sad.

I know that the point of all this treatment was to make me well, but I couldn’t help but feel that one by one, I was losing parts of my life that made me who I am. The cumulative side effects from my treatment, including fatigue, nonstop vomiting, weight loss, and “chemobrain” were overwhelming. And because I was so sick and weak from all the chemotherapy, I couldn’t take adjuvant tamoxifen therapy.

Problems of Reconstructive Surgery

I have wondered if skipping tamoxifen may have contributed to a local breast cancer recurrence a year-and-a-half later, but I have friends who are ER-positive and have had distant metastatic recurrences. I’ll never know for sure if tamoxifen would have made a difference, but the ensuing physical changes I’ve experienced since my recurrence guarantees that my body and my life will never be the same.

The new cancerous mass was small and confined to my right breast. I decided to have a bilateral mastectomy to avoid the possibility that I might develop cancer in my left breast as well. It had only been 15 months since I ended treatment, and I believed my body was determined to have more breast cancer. The bilateral mastectomy sparing the left nipple made the most sense with my set of circumstances. I have no regrets about that decision.

Since I had had radiation therapy and subsequent skin damage, there were problems using implants for my breast reconstruction. After several failed reconstruction attempts including a lateral flap, I found a fantastic plastic surgeon who was able to do various things surgically and give me a beautiful aesthetic result. Nevertheless, the reconstructed breasts are hard to the touch and do not feel natural.

Women contemplating a contralateral prophylactic mastectomy need to be aware that no matter how skilled the plastic surgeon, reconstructed breasts are not the same as natural breasts. They also need to know the complications that can arise as a result of radiation-related skin damage and be given advice on which type of reconstruction surgery has the best chance of success. I’m disappointed because my oncology surgeon never told me of the potential complications of using implants to reconstruct my breasts, even though I had asked if the type of surgery I chose made a difference.

Living My Best Life 

The cumulative effects from all the drugs and surgeries over the past 8 years have taken a toll. And a hip break due to osteoporosis, a late effect from my treatment, has added another scar to my already tattered body. However, I maintain a regular exercise routine and have worked hard to restore my strength. I am so happy that the chemobrain faded away, and I feel that my mind and memory are in top form again.

More than the physical effects of having breast cancer, I worry about the statistic showing that 30% of early-stage breast cancer survivors eventually develop distant recurrence and stage IV disease, especially because my best friend—who had chemotherapy for primary breast cancer at the same time as me—was in the 30% and died of metastatic breast cancer. I have many friends with metastatic breast cancer, and I am determined that they be helped.

While I am thrilled that I currently have no evidence of disease, I am concerned that those with metastatic breast cancer have sometimes been lost in the sea of pink survivors. I was prescribed tamoxifen after my cancer recurred 5 years ago (and have tolerated the drug), but I live with the knowledge that my cancer could eventually become metastatic.

Despite my concerns, I’m happy to be alive and I try to live life to the fullest. I have become a patient advocate for breast cancer survivors and find great satisfaction in helping others become better educated about their disease and more proactive in their care. I have been to two major Breast Cancer Symposiums and the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, among other professional meetings. I am delighted that the oncology community is interested in patient advocates’ insights, recognizing how educated patient advocates can be and how much we have to offer.

While I keep vigilant for any new signs of health problems, I never forget to take pleasure in the ordinariness of every day. ■

Susan Zager is the founder of Advocates for Breast Cancer and lives in Los Angeles, California.

Donna Peach – Danced in to the Light

donnaLast night , Donna Peach danced in to the light. It is her beautifully poetic expression for those that have died. Yesterday was Donna’s time. Every night I check my email and look for Donna Peach’s blog. She had stage IV metastatic breast cancer and I met her through her blog when I started blogging around ten months ago. Donna was a choreographer and a dancer and because of all my ballet and modern dance training, we became social media #fearless friends immediately. Her incredibly wonderful husband Marvin aka Don also would write on her blog to let us know how she was when she couldn’t.

Last night I was visiting my sister for a holiday and it’s the first night I did not check Donna’s blog. Of course Marvin was there to tell us what happened and to those who are interested in Donna’s blog please click here: at her site: http://donnapeach.com/. Unfortunately she was in the hospital and although she had been in and out of the hospital during these past 10 months, I had hoped she would get better and be able to go home with her incredible husband.

This is the part of breast cancer that I hate. When someone is diagnosed with Stage IV, their disease is not curable but there are various regimens of chemotherapy that can extend life. This is so unfair. The trick is trying to keep quality of life while extending it with regimens that have terrible side effects but are able to extend one’s lifetime.

My focus today is about the beautiful living Donna who participated in so many events with breast cancer social media including her web site and a site where others with cancer can express themselves through poetry and words. To see this great site go to: http://cancerpoet.com/. She always joined our meetings on Twitter with #BCSM (the breast cancer social media community) and I was always so happy to see that she was part of this incredible group.

I was supposed to meet her when the Los Angeles group of the #BCSM community met on a Saturday in West Hollywood, but unfortunately my dog Shelby had a terrible urinary tract infection and her urine was bloody. Leave it to Donna when I wrote her a long email explaining how sorry I was I missed the meeting, she just said not to worry I would see her the next meeting. Although deep down I knew time was getting limited, we all have to live in the moment and make the best of it.

I am frustrated that we have not found a way to help those with metastatic cancer. I have watched too many dance in to the light this way. But for today I just want to remember Donna and the beautiful soul that she was.

I know that sometimes this blog is hard for some. Who wants to hear about death and breast cancer? Yet this is a harsh reality of the disease. When I was first diagnosed I didn’t want to hear about anyone dying from the disease. All we want to hear is that we can be cured and we do what the doctors tell us and that’s the end of it.

Unfortunately when someone is diagnosed with metastatic cancer whether breast, esophageal, lung, pancreatic, colon, etc., many people don’t understand that no matter how much someone tries to grin and bear treatment there is no hope of a cure. There is only a chance of extending life through various chemo regimens depending upon one’s pathology.

I am not trying to be grim. I just want everyone to understand how special Donna was as well as so many I have watched with metastatic cancer that tried as hard as they could to stay with us as long as they could. I hope that through my advocacy this will change. I hope we can find a vaccine to end breast cancer while we learn how to reverse metastatic cancer. Only then will I believe that all of my time and energy was worth it – for truly this is a goal worth achieving.

Meanwhile, dear sweet Donna I hope your beautiful soul is at peace and you can feel all the love that so many of us are sending you.

Valerie Harper Inspires

I am so touched by Valerie Harper. As I am sure my readers are aware , not only is Valerie an incredibly accomplished actress, but her warmth and grace has been so touching during this terrible diagnosis of leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, a rare condition that happens when cancer cells invade into the fluid-filled membrane that surrounds the brain. She has been told by her doctors she will likely be able to survive about three months.

I had the good fortune to meet Valerie at a hair salon that I used to go to. She was always down to earth and always friendly while at the salon to others. When I thought her appointment was ahead of mine she told me it was not and that I was to take my turn.

valerie-harper-00-300She has bravely gone on television, visiting The Today Show, The Doctors, The Talk, Good Morning America , and spoken with People Magazine. Each interview had her glowing with life accepting her diagnosis when you know she is in shock. It is so wonderful to see such a loving relationship with her husband.

She is also a lung cancer survivor. She never smoked. So many lung cancer survivor’s never  smoked or quit a very long time before their diagnosis. I think that lung cancer is the cruelest of all cancers because so many people assume it’s only from smoking and I know many people who have had or are living with lung cancer and they are all non smokers. It’s a disease that deserves no blame. There is a campaign around lung cancer where we attach the words, “no stigma”. Meanwhile Valerie caught the lung cancer early and survived it.

Now she faces such a difficult diagnosis. We see her looking healthy and beautiful and as so many with metastatic cancer do. People are surprised because they not look as though they are very ill especially at the beginning of their diagnosis. Different cancers at different metastatic stages are like that and each one has a different set of statistics for how much time a patient has a chance of living. With my close friend Li when she was metastatic we often talked about living through the dying and making the most of the time we have. Like Valerie we wanted quality of life, not quantity.

There is a wonderful article by Donna Kaufman in I Village that talks about the 10 most inspiring things we’ve learned from Valerie Harper that I am going to copy and paste here. Valerie’s courage and willingness to share this private part of her life with all of us teaching us so much is just beautiful.

The 10 Most Inspiring Things We’ve Learned from Valerie Harper

1. Don’t blame yourself for tragedy. “If you die, you’re not a failure,” Harper said on Today. ‘You’re just somebody who had cancer. And that’s the outcome.”

2. Live in this moment, right now. “I’m not dying until I do,” Harper told Today. “I have an intention to live each moment fully.”

3. Remember that death is part of life. “I really want Americans, all of us, to be less afraid of death,” Harper said on The Doctors. “Know that it’s a passage, but don’t go to the funeral before the funeral. While you’re living, live.”

4. Let yourself be sad — but stay hopeful. “I don’t mean this to be Pollyanna! I allow myself the grief,” Harper told Today‘s Savannah Guthrie, when asked if she ever felt sad. “What I’m saying is keep your consciousness, your thoughts open to infinite possibility and keep yourself open to miracles.”

5. Don’t give in to despair when there’s more pasta to eat. When Harper first heard her diagnosis, she said on The Doctors, “I broke down. I absolutely sobbed. I let myself do it. Then I said, ‘Okay, you’ve been the drama queen. Now get over it and make the pasta.'”

6. Deal with your battles in the way that makes sense to you. When one of the Doctors asked Harper why she was spending her final days on a press tour, she responded, “Dr. Travis, this is not for everyone. This is my way of dealing with it.”

7. Don’t live in denial. “I’m trouble,” Harper admitted in a video message for People, “but when the smoke clears, I’ll be standing. Until I’m not. And I’m ready for that, too.”

8. Don’t forget to live just because you’re dying. “‘Incurable’ is a tough word. A lot of people were calling — ‘Can I come by the house?’ ‘Are you in a wheel chair?’ — because they hear it as this death sentence,” Harper said on Today. “Which it may be. But I’m not dying until I do. I promise I won’t.”

9. Never be afraid of what’s next. “I don’t know what’s ahead, but I’m ready for it. Onward!” Harper told fans in her People message. “I love you. And know that I’m okay. I am okay on this venture.”

10. Keep your loved ones close. Harper says she’ll be spending her last months with her husband and daughter while she undergoes treatments to try to slow the progress of her disease. “My doctor said it’s incurable — so far,” Harper said on GMA. “And I love that possibility. We all need to live in infinite possibility.”

Valerie speaks of how important it is not to blames oneself for a cancer diagnosis. She talks about living in the moment and not focusing on the dying. She says to deal with your battles in your way. For her it was going on Television and speaking to her fans. Most important she speaks of keeping family close. Even though she knows that her disease is “incurable”, she still lives in a world of “infinite possibility.”

Her message is one of so much hope for so many that have faced incredible obstacles in their lives. I just love everything about Valerie!

Survival – A Widow’s Journal

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In Survival, A Widow’s Journal, Muriel Kagan Zager describes her experiences following the loss of her husband, Victor, after 56 years of marriage. Her reactions to her new status and the unexpected reactions of others to her situation provide an insight into what new realities she faced.  She discovered that some people she thought would be there for her were not; and some she little knew became life-lines for her.

Psychologists and therapists in the field have praised the work; many feeling that it should be used as a text for students learning about mourning. Widows and others going through the loss of a loved one have been helped through Muriel Kagan Zager’s journey.

I am so proud of my mother who wrote Survival, A Widow’s Journal. She is a journalist who specializes as a correspondent in the Middle East and an accomplished author. She has published four novels and she just published her fifth book call Survival – A Widow’s Journal. The book is based on a true story about my father who died of pancreatic cancer on June 6, 2008. I think that anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer or any other reason will really be helped by her book. Many of you will also will enjoy reading it because  she tells her story with wonderful grace. She’s a fantastic writer.

My mom let my sister and I read it before it was published and I also have read different parts of it again throughout this week. The book just came out a week ago. I want to tell you a little about my father, Victor, and his experience with cancer. He had kidney cancer aka renal cell cancer 15 years before he died of pancreatic cancer. The kidney cancer was caught early enough and they were able to take the damaged kidney from the cancer out surgically, and he required no further treatment besides the usual follow ups.

In early 2008 he was more tired than usual and his regular MD thought he had sinus infections and kept giving him antibiotics. He traveled with my mom for business and pleasure all over the world. Ten days before his diagnosis he felt horrible and his stomach got very bloated. He spent Memorial Day weekend at home in terrible pain and would not let my mom take him to the hospital. He didn’t want to bother his MD.

Finally when the holiday was over he had an MRI and it was discovered that he had metastatic cancer all over his body. If you read my mom’s book there is much more detail about what happened. We managed to get him on a medical plane to Nashville where most of the family including his grandchildren were able to see him at the hospital the last five days of his life. We later determined that he had pancreatic cancer.

I was happy that my dad lived out his last six months not knowing how sick he was and able to just enjoy his life. We had wonderful moments during his life as well as while he was in the hospital.

My father was an amazing man.  I am so grateful for the time I had with him and I am so lucky that I have grown up with such special parents and siblings, and my mom continues to bring me joy every day!

I urge all of you to check out my moms book. Below is a great review written by someone very special to my mom and me.

“What does it take to face the death of your husband of 50 years?  Can you be strong enough to survive and re-enter the world?  Muriel Kagan Zager has written the most honest and passionate love story in “SURVIVAL, A Widow’s Journal.”  As you hear the pulse of Muriel’s heart in every honest sentence, you will also feel the agony, the loneliness and the finality of the death of Victor, her spouse.  There is no smoothing over the misery, the heartbreak and the predestination of “who will live and who will die,” and when.  There are many books written about the wonder of life, but this is a passionate story about love, loneliness and survival.  “SURVIVAL” is worth reading for anyone who has faced a future of uncertainty.”

To Order the book and peak inside click here to go to amazon.com.