escape_4_cancer_advocates_-_about_us_-_2016-09-06_09-25-30It was so thrilling to attend #ESCAPE2016. How wonderful the BAG IT organization is committed to combining patient advocacy with self discovery. meditation, group exercises, meetings about effective lobbying, running non-profits and even a special Indian dance. bag_it_-_2016-09-06_09-20-08

I went to Escape seeking solutions to balance my personal and professional passions. I discovered I hide my ongoing complications from this disease, because so many of my close friends with stage IV are being ignored and facing much more difficult circumstances. I want to save everyone from the scars of cancer. I have lost so many family members and loved ones to this disease.

IMG_4954The desert was beautiful, but a little warm this time of year. With a no cell phone policy at Miravel Resort, it was nice to not feel so absorbed by the 100’s of tweets, FB posts, texts, and emails, as I tried to balance the great conferences with classes and even group meditations in pods!

I loved that it was a small mix of all kinds of cancer advocates. There was healthy food, meditation, and networking. We had an amazing talk from Shelley at the NCCS where she talked about how we influence policy. IMG_4897

I hope to go again next year. I was fortunate to meet some great people and partake in combining advocacy with self discovery. Patient advocates (especially volunteers) need this type of balance. The burn out factor is real especially when passions are high, time is of the essence to save lives and yet all of us must remember to stop, take a breath, and try to be in the moment especially when the body and mind are filled with stress.

It’s also important to put our personal health first. No matter what stage or complications one has from any cancer, loved ones helping, medical professionals, patient advocates, researchers, and doctors, we are all in this together. We must respect each other and try to move forward. My own personal side effects have slowed me down sometimes, but it’s time we allow ourselves to feel.

IMG_4950I also realized that I have been dealing with a lot of grief. Thankfully I was surrounded by awesome people. Version 2During many of the special meditative and group activities, I found myself quite emotional. I do believe that when it comes to cancer there’s so much emotional pain, physical changes, highs and lows, and some very tough times because of the incredible toll this disease can take. Thank you to the sponsors who help bring Escape2016 to patient advocates.

I came home so much more refreshed and ready for the tasks ahead that keep this new balance. It’s important to take time for reflection and always be mindful of making sure we keep taking care of our selves, while content to push forward helping others.

Metavivor needs Volunteers

Hi Everyone! Metavivor is having a Nationwide call for Volunteers!




METAvivor Awareness Campaign 2014

Sea to Sea for MBC


Metavivor is now accepting applications for volunteers! Even if you can only spare some small time to volunteer Metavivor needs you! No deed is too big or too small. If you care about Metastatic Breast Cancer, this is worth your time to help.

Event Overview: On February 1, 2014 breast cancer widower Marine Corps LtCol Joseph Fagan will depart San Diego CA, arriving in New York City on Father’s Day weekend. Along the way Joe will meet with researchers, including METAvivor grant recipients, dedicated to improving the lives of metastatic patients.

Joe’s involvement is very personal. In 2010, his wife Lainie Fagan was 29 years old and pregnant with their first child. At 34 weeks she was told her cancer had metastasized and that their child would need to be delivered early so that she could begin treatment. JJ was born October 1, 2010, but tragically it was too late for Lainie; Joe and JJ lost their beloved wife and mother only nine months later. Joe is passionate and determined to do his part so that others can be spared such a devastating loss.

Intent of Event – Awareness and Fundraising: Over 122 days Joe will run 3,845 miles, transiting twelve states and meeting with metastasis researchers, metastatic patients and family members. Public speaking engagements at various locations and the filming of his journey for purpose of a documentary will bring significant attention to metastatic breast cancer and give voice to a patient community that is seldom heard. A coinciding fundraising campaign will bring in valuable dollars to help fund METAvivor’s 2014 research grant cycle, estimated at $320,000.

VolunteersNeededOpportunities for Volunteers: To maximize the effectiveness of the awareness and fundraising campaigns, Metavivor will need volunteers nationwide in many different capacities.

Those wishing to volunteer should send an email with their name, email address and phone number to the volunteer coordinator:

Note: Committees are being formed now.

Sponsorship* Logistics* Volunteers* Media Advertisement*
Donations in Kind Route Organization Orientation Advertising
Major Sponsors Transportation RV Organizational Coordinators Photography
Donors Transportation Flights Regional Coordinators Documentary
Merchandising Run Team Coordinator Local Volunteer Coordinators Ceremonial Start San Diego
Lodging Volunteer Hours Cataloger Ceremonial Celebration NYC
Meal Coordination Research Center Stops
Project Light Up Social Media
Running Gear Homecoming Annapolis


You can also help by going to Metavivor’s Facebook page for this event and click “like”, while the page is still under construction. Go to:

twitter_bird_logoFollow on twitter so you will see the very first tweet!  @C2C4MBC is the official twitter account for this event.

Note from CJ-one of the co-founders of METAvivor:

One quick clarification. The Ambassador Program was launched in 2013 as part of METAvivor’s long-planned national expansion program. It is completely independent of Sea to Sea for MBC, although many volunteers with the Ambassador Program are volunteering to help with the Run as well. The Run is an exciting venture that will occur in 2014. The Ambassador Program is a permanent part of METAvivor and is run by METAvivor Board Member, Lori Marx-Rubiner. Volunteering for either program does not automatically volunteer you for the other. Those wishing to volunteer for the Ambassador program should contact the Director of that program, Lori Marx-Rubiner at Thanks!

“METavivor on the Move” – I am on the team

pinkelephantI have written about my passion (see: While Flying – Frustration surrounds Me ) for doing  everything I can to advocate for Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC). 6-10% of breast cancer patients are initially diagnosed at Stage IV (MBC). 30% of all breast cancer patients initially diagnosed with early stage breast cancer will eventually metastasize (or have what some of us call mets). 

In the US alone 1 woman dies every 14 minutes of MBC. I have many friends now who have MBC. Metavivor is an organization that I have great respect for. Like Advocates 4 Breast Cancer they are an all-volunteer, patient-founded organization. They are devoted to raising awareness about metastatic breast cancer, funding vital MBC research and they promote the concept that 30% of every organization’s breast cancer research funds should be devoted to MBC research.

Right now only 2% of all funds for breast cancer organizations go to MBC research. This has to change. As the Executive Director of Advocates 4 Breast Cancer (A4BC), I am proud that our organization is listening to Metavivor. We are devoting 30% of our funds each year to MBC research. We hope that other non-profits will follow our example and recognize how important it is for all breast cancer organizations to fund MBC.

finalAs an update to A4BC, we are in the process of getting our official site up and we are working around the clock to have it done. We are now on Facebook.  Thank you everyone for liking the page and if you haven’t seen it, please have a look and “like” the page to stay updated. Please click on:

I am haunted by the death of my very good friend Li Bailey, and my other friends who have died from MBC. Unfortunately this list keeps growing. I also hate that many of my friends have recently become part of the 30% joining my other friends who have MBC. This disease robs so many of so much. We must have MBC research that continues to bring about “quality of life” medications that will extend everyone’s lives for years (not just weeks or months). Forty thousand women in the US alone will die from MBC this year.


Metavivor is also looking for volunteers. They have a fantastic campaign called “Metavivor on the Move.”, inviting people to join the volunteer team. They are establishing 10 regional teams, with representatives from every state, plus volunteers in Canada. Although I have a very full plate, I am part of the volunteer team doing what I can to help with Metavivor.  If you would like to volunteer to help in any capacity of your choosing, send an email to

To learn more about MBC please check out Nancy’s Point at:

To learn more about METAvivor, please visit their website here:


Valerie Harper Inspires

I am so touched by Valerie Harper. As I am sure my readers are aware , not only is Valerie an incredibly accomplished actress, but her warmth and grace has been so touching during this terrible diagnosis of leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, a rare condition that happens when cancer cells invade into the fluid-filled membrane that surrounds the brain. She has been told by her doctors she will likely be able to survive about three months.

I had the good fortune to meet Valerie at a hair salon that I used to go to. She was always down to earth and always friendly while at the salon to others. When I thought her appointment was ahead of mine she told me it was not and that I was to take my turn.

valerie-harper-00-300She has bravely gone on television, visiting The Today Show, The Doctors, The Talk, Good Morning America , and spoken with People Magazine. Each interview had her glowing with life accepting her diagnosis when you know she is in shock. It is so wonderful to see such a loving relationship with her husband.

She is also a lung cancer survivor. She never smoked. So many lung cancer survivor’s never  smoked or quit a very long time before their diagnosis. I think that lung cancer is the cruelest of all cancers because so many people assume it’s only from smoking and I know many people who have had or are living with lung cancer and they are all non smokers. It’s a disease that deserves no blame. There is a campaign around lung cancer where we attach the words, “no stigma”. Meanwhile Valerie caught the lung cancer early and survived it.

Now she faces such a difficult diagnosis. We see her looking healthy and beautiful and as so many with metastatic cancer do. People are surprised because they not look as though they are very ill especially at the beginning of their diagnosis. Different cancers at different metastatic stages are like that and each one has a different set of statistics for how much time a patient has a chance of living. With my close friend Li when she was metastatic we often talked about living through the dying and making the most of the time we have. Like Valerie we wanted quality of life, not quantity.

There is a wonderful article by Donna Kaufman in I Village that talks about the 10 most inspiring things we’ve learned from Valerie Harper that I am going to copy and paste here. Valerie’s courage and willingness to share this private part of her life with all of us teaching us so much is just beautiful.

The 10 Most Inspiring Things We’ve Learned from Valerie Harper

1. Don’t blame yourself for tragedy. “If you die, you’re not a failure,” Harper said on Today. ‘You’re just somebody who had cancer. And that’s the outcome.”

2. Live in this moment, right now. “I’m not dying until I do,” Harper told Today. “I have an intention to live each moment fully.”

3. Remember that death is part of life. “I really want Americans, all of us, to be less afraid of death,” Harper said on The Doctors. “Know that it’s a passage, but don’t go to the funeral before the funeral. While you’re living, live.”

4. Let yourself be sad — but stay hopeful. “I don’t mean this to be Pollyanna! I allow myself the grief,” Harper told Today‘s Savannah Guthrie, when asked if she ever felt sad. “What I’m saying is keep your consciousness, your thoughts open to infinite possibility and keep yourself open to miracles.”

5. Don’t give in to despair when there’s more pasta to eat. When Harper first heard her diagnosis, she said on The Doctors, “I broke down. I absolutely sobbed. I let myself do it. Then I said, ‘Okay, you’ve been the drama queen. Now get over it and make the pasta.'”

6. Deal with your battles in the way that makes sense to you. When one of the Doctors asked Harper why she was spending her final days on a press tour, she responded, “Dr. Travis, this is not for everyone. This is my way of dealing with it.”

7. Don’t live in denial. “I’m trouble,” Harper admitted in a video message for People, “but when the smoke clears, I’ll be standing. Until I’m not. And I’m ready for that, too.”

8. Don’t forget to live just because you’re dying. “‘Incurable’ is a tough word. A lot of people were calling — ‘Can I come by the house?’ ‘Are you in a wheel chair?’ — because they hear it as this death sentence,” Harper said on Today. “Which it may be. But I’m not dying until I do. I promise I won’t.”

9. Never be afraid of what’s next. “I don’t know what’s ahead, but I’m ready for it. Onward!” Harper told fans in her People message. “I love you. And know that I’m okay. I am okay on this venture.”

10. Keep your loved ones close. Harper says she’ll be spending her last months with her husband and daughter while she undergoes treatments to try to slow the progress of her disease. “My doctor said it’s incurable — so far,” Harper said on GMA. “And I love that possibility. We all need to live in infinite possibility.”

Valerie speaks of how important it is not to blames oneself for a cancer diagnosis. She talks about living in the moment and not focusing on the dying. She says to deal with your battles in your way. For her it was going on Television and speaking to her fans. Most important she speaks of keeping family close. Even though she knows that her disease is “incurable”, she still lives in a world of “infinite possibility.”

Her message is one of so much hope for so many that have faced incredible obstacles in their lives. I just love everything about Valerie!

Survival – A Widow’s Journal

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In Survival, A Widow’s Journal, Muriel Kagan Zager describes her experiences following the loss of her husband, Victor, after 56 years of marriage. Her reactions to her new status and the unexpected reactions of others to her situation provide an insight into what new realities she faced.  She discovered that some people she thought would be there for her were not; and some she little knew became life-lines for her.

Psychologists and therapists in the field have praised the work; many feeling that it should be used as a text for students learning about mourning. Widows and others going through the loss of a loved one have been helped through Muriel Kagan Zager’s journey.

I am so proud of my mother who wrote Survival, A Widow’s Journal. She is a journalist who specializes as a correspondent in the Middle East and an accomplished author. She has published four novels and she just published her fifth book call Survival – A Widow’s Journal. The book is based on a true story about my father who died of pancreatic cancer on June 6, 2008. I think that anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer or any other reason will really be helped by her book. Many of you will also will enjoy reading it because  she tells her story with wonderful grace. She’s a fantastic writer.

My mom let my sister and I read it before it was published and I also have read different parts of it again throughout this week. The book just came out a week ago. I want to tell you a little about my father, Victor, and his experience with cancer. He had kidney cancer aka renal cell cancer 15 years before he died of pancreatic cancer. The kidney cancer was caught early enough and they were able to take the damaged kidney from the cancer out surgically, and he required no further treatment besides the usual follow ups.

In early 2008 he was more tired than usual and his regular MD thought he had sinus infections and kept giving him antibiotics. He traveled with my mom for business and pleasure all over the world. Ten days before his diagnosis he felt horrible and his stomach got very bloated. He spent Memorial Day weekend at home in terrible pain and would not let my mom take him to the hospital. He didn’t want to bother his MD.

Finally when the holiday was over he had an MRI and it was discovered that he had metastatic cancer all over his body. If you read my mom’s book there is much more detail about what happened. We managed to get him on a medical plane to Nashville where most of the family including his grandchildren were able to see him at the hospital the last five days of his life. We later determined that he had pancreatic cancer.

I was happy that my dad lived out his last six months not knowing how sick he was and able to just enjoy his life. We had wonderful moments during his life as well as while he was in the hospital.

My father was an amazing man.  I am so grateful for the time I had with him and I am so lucky that I have grown up with such special parents and siblings, and my mom continues to bring me joy every day!

I urge all of you to check out my moms book. Below is a great review written by someone very special to my mom and me.

“What does it take to face the death of your husband of 50 years?  Can you be strong enough to survive and re-enter the world?  Muriel Kagan Zager has written the most honest and passionate love story in “SURVIVAL, A Widow’s Journal.”  As you hear the pulse of Muriel’s heart in every honest sentence, you will also feel the agony, the loneliness and the finality of the death of Victor, her spouse.  There is no smoothing over the misery, the heartbreak and the predestination of “who will live and who will die,” and when.  There are many books written about the wonder of life, but this is a passionate story about love, loneliness and survival.  “SURVIVAL” is worth reading for anyone who has faced a future of uncertainty.”

To Order the book and peak inside click here to go to

Patient Advocacy in Research: Merely an Afterthought? : The Patient: Patient-Centered Outcomes Research

HELPA8FC549B4C08CBC78-main(I found this article very interesting for all of us who are patient advocates. It was written by Musa Mayer of


In 20 years of breast cancer advocacy, I’ve witnessed major changes in attitude toward advocates on the part of basic researchers, clinical investigators, and others involved with the science of the disease.

Not so long ago, even a seat at the table – much less a vote – was hard to come by. Advocate presence was met with puzzlement, if not outright resistance. How could we possibly understand the complex scientific issues under discussion? What, exactly, was our expertise?

Within the space of a very few years – not coincidentally with the increase in advocate-driven research funding – waves of change began to wash away this resistance. Appreciation for our fundraising efforts, mixed with grudging recognition that people who actually live with a disease have useful perspectives, were contributing factors. In the wake of the 1970s and the women’s health movement, medical paternalism was relaxing its grip, and a new generation embraced the patient-doctor relationship as a partnership of equals. In the late 1980s, AIDS activists demonstrated the power of organized pressure on access and policy when lives were at stake. In the early 1990s, the Internet began to connect and empower a steady stream of newly informed patients.

It was in just such an online community, the first breast cancer mailing list, that my own advocacy was born, from a desire to ‘pay forward’ the information and support offered me when I was diagnosed. What began as a small, personal ripple expanded outwards as I recovered from treatment and moved from helping the members of my support group to reaching out to women in emerging organizations and communities, then to all women with breast cancer.

I joined with other advocates. Not satisfied with offering only emotional support, we called for better, less toxic treatments available to everyone. The standard of care seemed harsh and crude. Some referred to chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation as ‘poison, slash, and burn.’ Rejecting the metaphors of war, we called for gentler, targeted therapies with less ‘collateral damage.’ To accomplish this, more and better research was needed.

We were not content with just handing over the research funds. We looked with suspicion at the minor progress made in Nixon’s war on cancer1 and began to raise questions about the direction of cancer research, and the lack of collaboration and support for novel ideas. Funded through the efforts of advocates, programs such as the US Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program[1] were born.

In the years since, the presence of advocates has become commonplace in the world of cancer research. We sit on US FDA advisory committees as voting members, on Institutional Review Boards (IRBs), and data safety monitoring boards for clinical trials. We serve on Specialized Programs of Research Excellence (SPOREs) and in the Cooperative Groups.2 We rate grant proposals in study sections, and help determine research priorities. We speak at conferences, and are co-authors of papers, posters, and abstracts. We offer input to industry about trial design and enrolment, drug safety, and access to new therapies in the pipeline. Our activism runs both ways. By translating what we learn of the research back to the patients we serve, we help them to make better, more informed treatment decisions.

In preparing this article, I shared my concerns with Patient Advocates in Research (PAIR), a long-standing mailing list. The flood of responses spoke candidly about our difficulties, as well as our roles and strengths.

Several emphasized the important role we play in encouraging collaboration rather than competition among researchers, helping them to concentrate more on meaningful goals, and less on professional and career concerns. This is no easy task. It is the nature of research to “meander from one disparate place to another,” explains Deborah Collyar, President and co-founder of the PAIR mailing list, “which keeps the focus on the individual PIs [Principle Investigators] who compete with each other for grants. It’s like a game of musical chairs.” To make an impact, she suggests, “We have to speak up, and remind them to act like big boys and girls to get something done.”

Colorectal cancer advocate Kate Murphy agrees, “Research can answer interesting but irrelevant questions, provide statistically significant but clinically insignificant results … but in the end, does it matter to patients? Researchers can lose sight of the real goals, and we can keep them honest.”

The very presence of advocates can make a difference. “Not only does my face and my story inject reality into the cancer research enterprise, it seems to add some sense of urgency,” says Murphy. “We need to get the job done now without quibbling and without egos.”

Sometimes, advocates are the only ones who bring a real-world perspective to research discussions, says breast cancer advocate Cheryl Jernigan. “We’ve got to get beyond incremental steps that simply add to already unsustainable growing healthcare costs, to research that makes a substantial difference in the length and quality of life, that will be accessible in the community setting and not break the bank.”

An education in the language and methods of science is critical. Trained advocates challenge biases researchers may have had, by presenting themselves as thoughtful and intelligent peers and colleagues, well versed in the research process. But still they are underutilized at times, and unsure of their roles. “Most researchers who have engaged with us seem to really appreciate our involvement,” says Jernigan, “but don’t really know when, where, or how to engage us, and we don’t always know what it is we can do.”

Joyce Graff, advocate for patients with Von Hippel-Lindau (VHL) disease, a genetic blood vessel malformation, has experienced little support from the SPORE on which she serves: “Periodically, they will turn to me in a meeting and ask whether a proposed clinical trial design will appeal to patients.” But her opinion is solicited only after trial proposals and informed consent documents have been submitted to the IRB.

Being invited to endorse, or recruit for, research studies without participating in their creation is a familiar complaint. I’m not alone in having been invited to join steering committees for registries and clinical trials only after the important initial decisions are made. Substantive roles for advocates can be hard to come by.

But when we are brought in early in the process, we can make a genuine contribution, Collyar feels, “We help them think about how they will actually implement the trial and how to reach as broad an audience as possible, ethnically speaking, as well as eliminating bogus eligibility requirements.”

Many of us have experienced last-minute calls and emails from researchers a day or two before grant proposals are due. Clearly, the PI has discovered that advocate involvement is required and is scrambling to find someone. We become an obstacle to be surmounted, not a resource to be used.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have also had the opposite experience. Involved in a major research grant to study brain metastases in breast cancer,[2] my input, and that of other advocates, has been invited and welcomed at all stages of planning and implementation, with the complete confidence and trust of an enlightened PI who has worked with advocates for years.

Central to drug development, regulatory policy is also of intense interest to advocates. I first served as a voting Patient Representative[3] on the FDA’s Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee a decade ago. At the open public hearings, diverse advocacy perspectives are on display, ranging from passionate pleas for access to calls for tightened regulations. While some view the agency as a bureaucratic and unfeeling barrier to access, the FDA’s mandate always made sense to me. I too was concerned about risks and benefits of new treatments, about levels of evidence and adequate proof of safety and efficacy. Having witnessed the rise and fall of bone marrow transplants in breast cancer, I knew how catastrophic the premature adoption of unproven therapies could be.

As a graduate of Project LEAD, the National Breast Cancer Coalition’s science training course,[4] I fervently believed that advocates needed to understand the research process, and to be able to look beyond immediate needs to what would offer current and future benefit for all patients. To that end, I co-developed a free, online training curriculum for the US Cochrane Center in evidence-based healthcare specifically for advocates.[5]

If advocates only understood the research process, I reasoned, they would surely take more nuanced, thoughtful positions on issues of evidence and access. But reason trumps emotion only rarely when lives are at stake, and desperation fuels inflated hopes for treatment efficacy. Described by ethicist Rebecca Dresser as “advocacy’s emphasis on the bright side of medical research,”[6] this unwarranted optimism has the potential to increase demand for unproven treatments, and to make it harder to recruit definitive studies. Patient bitterness and public disillusionment with the research enterprise are sure to follow.

Science is hard. “Most of our experiments fail,” a researcher I work with reminded me recently. For advocates, removing the blinders of wishful thinking, replacing them with a clear-eyed, cautious view of scientific research, is sobering but necessary. To do so while maintaining a hopeful stance with the patient communities we represent is harder still. But then, no one promised the truth would be easy.

Back to Top | Article Outline


1. Congressionally Directed Medical Research Programs, Department of Defense. Breast Cancer Research Program [online]. Available from URL: [Accessed 2011 Jan 30]
2. Center of Excellence, DoD Breast Cancer Research Program [online]. Available from URL: [Accessed 2011 Jan 30]
3. US FDA. Patient Representative Program [online]. Available from URL: [Accessed 2011 Jan 30]
4. National Breast Cancer Coalition. Project LEAD [online]. Available from URL: [Accessed 2011 Jan 30]
5. Mayer M, Dickersin K. Understanding evidence-based healthcare: a foundation for action. US Cochrane Center [online]. Available from URL: [Accessed 2011 Jan 30]
6. Dresser R. When science offers salvation: patient advocacy and research ethics. New York: Oxford University Press, 2001: 153

: Patient-Centered Outcomes Research:

1 June 2011 – Volume 4 – Issue 2 – pp 69-71
doi: 10.2165/11590710-000000000-00000

Author Information, New York, USA

Correspondence: Ms Musa Mayer, MS,, 250 W 82nd Street, Apt #42, New York, NY 10024, USA.


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